Are you innocently surfing the net or are you so pissed off at your husband, that you’re researching how to dispose of a body?

The episiotomy has healed or (your cesarian incision if that be the case) but your life will never been the same again.  Funny thing is, your husband’s life has marginally changed.  WTF.  

 

Storytime.

You wake up to the sound of your son calling out “mummy”.  You are exhausted and “5 more minutes” is all you can think.  You nudge your husband to get him just this once and as your man-child stirs he informs you that YOUR son is awake and wants you.  

Fan-fucking-tastic.  

He always seems to be MY son when it’s before 7am or he’s having a tantrum like a billy goat on acid.  Why does he always get to be the fun parent and I get the short end of the stick?  Oh fuck it.  Kiddo would freak out if Daddy went in anyways…it’s just easier if I go get him up.  

I’m up I’m up!  

You get kiddo up and get him breakfast.  As you grab the cheerios and milk you realise that your husband is supposed to do breakfast.  Come to think of it, he said he would cover breakfast because you cover lunch and dinner.  50-50 right?  Ok ok so it’s more like ⅓ – ⅔ but who am I to complain?  Most of my friend’s husbands don’t do shit so I should just be happy with what he does do, right?  You plop the bowl and cheerios on the table and let the feeding begin.  At least he can feed himself and I can just rest my head on the table.

Fast forward to getting ready for school and you’ve gotten kiddo dressed and everything is going great.  You focus on helping your son get dressed and encourage him to learn by doing.  Sure it takes a bit longer but it doesn’t end up with Mr. Billy goat writhing around on your floor.  

Then your husband walks in (he’s just gotten out of bed I might add) and he has a hairbrush in hand.  He walks over to your kid and starts brushing his hair without saying a word or even explaining what he’s doing.  Cue Billy.  

FML.  Seriously?!  I let you sleep in and take care of your responsibilities and then you come out here and start fucking things up?  

You can feel the anger rising in your chest and your cheeks are starting to burn.  You grit your teeth and your nose flares.  

He doesn’t help and when he does he just makes your job harder cause now you have to calm down the billy goat who is now screaming at the top of his lungs with tears cascading down his chubby little cheeks.

Then, without warning, you lose it…

You open your mouth and let him have it and there is no stopping you now.  You’ve checked out and you can’t take it anymore.

  • “What is wrong with you?  
  • Why can’t you just ask him if you can brush his hair?  
  • Give the kid a choice and maybe he wouldn’t lose his shit every fucking morning.  
  • You do this every morning!  It’s like you enjoy making my life harder.  
  • Sometimes I just wish you’d stay in bed and out of my way”.
  • Are you smirking at me?  Do you think this is funny?  
  • Well I’m glad that someone is laughing because I sure the hell am NOT.  
  • Calm down?  Relax?  NO I can’t!  
  • Maybe if you did something thoughtful once and awhile I wouldn’t be such a…bitch?  
  • Oh…now I’m a bitch?  Yes I said I was a bitch but you didn’t deny it.”
  • The tears are welling up and you’re about to break.
  • You know what?…fine.  Deal with this yourself.  I’m done.  

Tears fall down your cheeks and mirror your son’s as he stands there looking at you wide eyed and scared.  His little face recording every word, every FUCK, every bit of anger that just flew out of you at your husband.

You turn on your heels and head to the bathroom and slam the door.

You lean your back up against the wall to the door; you are done.  You start to cry –today it is loud and convulsing–as you slide down the door onto the cold tile floor.  Last night it was silent and controlled.  

All you can see now is your son’s little face in your head.  Not only are you upset about your husband but now you feel guilty because you lost your shit in front of your kid and he will probably remember this moment for all eternity and pay someone a lot of money to unpack while lying horizontal on a couch.

You wish that this didn’t happen so often, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t.  You are tired of this bullshit and you want out…but don’t at the same time.  Leaving your husband wouldn’t fix anything would it?  

You just don’t want to feel like this anymore, and you don’t want to fuck up your son.  

There is a knock at the door and it slowly opens.  Instead of your husband or son, you see a friendly face.

Mine.  Ok ok…in reality if that happened I bet you would be 50 shades of weirded out but roll with me here.

I come in and shut the door.  Sit on the floor with you and whip out a flask of the good stuff and some skittles.  

“How you doing mama?  Wanna talk this shit out with someone who has totally been there?”

Introducing the anger and resentment bathroom floor session; otherwise known as the Anger and Resentment Masterclass, where I step in and help you calm down, dry your tears and get your head in the right space so you can talk, and go to bed with a smile on your face, not mascara cascading down your face.

What are we going to do.

#1 Help you feel calm and relaxed in less than 5 minutes so you can stop crying, get your shit together and actually be able to leave the bathroom and talk to your husband without breaking into tears.

#2 We’re going to explore the deeper issues going on and clear them out.  Not only will you feel better after this session, you’ll also be less likely to lose your shit in the future.  Doing this practice daily is like going to the gym and flexing your keep your shit together muscle.  

#3 I’ll teach you this technique so that you can whip it out whenever you need it to calm down BEFORE you lose it and end up yelling at your husband in front of your kid again.

Sound good?  
Then sign up for my free Anger and Resentment Masterclass right now and save your marriage from becoming yet another statistic.

Cheers to your sanity!

Mama D

*No husbands were injured in the making of this website.